


sonatina

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: -__-, First Kiss, M for later chapters, M/M, Reibert Secret Santa 2018, i think, no smex tho, rip g rating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-09-26 21:49:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17149691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: everyone deserves a happy ending.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aloha, thank you for reading my fic! this first chapter is a secret santa gift! it also also based off of the song love4eva by yyxy (youth youth by young). please feel free to listen to the song while you read my story! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfeewVb_QLQ

 

It was October 15th. Reiner Braun, who had just turned 6 two months ago, was becoming a Warrior. He spent a year in school training just for the first few days, where hundreds of potential warriors would be excluded from the program. The little blond boy was good with his words, and could talk to adults well, but that was his only real ‘warrior’ point. He thought back to his class, his classmates that had barely talked to him. Marcel, Porco and Annie were all going to be there, so maybe he could try and socialize with them.

 

As Reiner was deep in thought, he didn’t realize that he was walking right into the path of another boy. He walked straight into the other boy, tripping on his own shoes. Reiner looked up, and that is when he saw him.

 

He was so beautiful. The boy had deep black hair, tan skin, long legs and stunning forest green eyes. Looking at him made Reiner remember about what his mom had told him, that he needed to get a beautiful girlfriend someday. Someone who he could take care of, someone who he could raise children with.

 

“H-Hi…” Reiner whimpered, his knees bruised from the rough rocks under him. He looked up at the boy and attempted to smile, even though he wanted to cry because his knees hurt so much.

 

“Hello.” The tall boy said, extending a hand to Reiner. “Stand up.”

 

Reiner paused for a second, but he knew what to do. He took the tall boy’s hand, and was helped up.

 

“What’s your name?” He asked, looking at Reiner with those beautiful green eyes.

 

“I’m Reiner.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you, Reiner.”

 

“What’s your name?”

 

“I’m Bertolt.”

 

Reiner walked to HQ with the tall boy, hand in hand. They talked amongst each other, about home, toys… other things little boys talked about.

 

“We should take you to the nurse.”

 

“No… Bertolt.”

 

“Why?”  
  
Reiner didn’t want to tell Bertolt how many times he had gone to the nurses office for minor cuts, and how much the other students in his class made fun of him. Especially Porco, who at every chance he could, would rip off the bandages just to see him cry. He didn’t want to be bullied on his first day back to a school. So, he didn’t respond.

 

“... well that's okay, I guess. I have bandages in my backpack. When we get there, do you want to have one?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Reiner couldn’t help but eye his bleeding knee. It ached so bad, he wished that he could ask Bertolt just to put it on, or if Bertolt could just go away.

 

Such a pretty boy shouldn’t hang out with a crybaby.  Reiner thought, closing his eyes while still being led by Bertolt’s hand. He felt tears come out of the corners of his eyes, and he felt so shameful.

 

“Reiner, are you okay?” Bertolt asked, stopping walking to look at Reiner. The poor blond boy was crying, not hard, but was still crying. Just tiny, fat little blobs coming out of his eyes.

 

“Are you crying? Does your leg hurt that much?”

 

Bertolt squatted down and fumbled through his bag, looking for the bandages. He took them out, little bandages with animal designs on them, and applied it onto Reiner’s leg. He stood still as the tall boy accidently applied pressure to his wounds, squeaking a bit.

 

“I gotcha.” Bertolt put the remaining bandaids back in his bag, and stood up. Bertolt looked at the other boy and smiled.

 

“Those are my favorite ones, my dad always buys them for me.”

 

Reiner nodded, taking Bertolt’s hand again and walking with him.

 

* * *

 

 

The first class of the day was boring. Reiner tried his best to pay attention, but he couldn't. He ended up sketching in his notebook all day, only taking in choice notes at any moment. Stuff about the tenure, transferring of titan powers (they were working on a way to make it non-fatal) and code of ethics. Something that struck a cord to him, for some reason, was that the warriors were allowed to have homosexual relations. This usually wasn’t allowed in Marley, with the punishment being prison, or gender reassignment therapy. That meant that if a boy was having relations with another boy, they could either go to jail, or take hormones.

 

But that was all that he could remember. The bell was rung for the end of class, and Reiner left to go outside. Bertolt had left early so that he could find a favourable place to sit. The little blond boy wandered out into the yard, and found Bertolt under a shady tree. He was waved over, and Reiner reluctantly came to sit next to him.

 

“Do you have anything to eat for a snack?” Bertolt said, noticing the other boys empty hands. Reiner shook his head no, and bertolt went ‘ah’ under his breath.

 

“Well… you can have some of my cucumbers if you want.” He offered reiner the fruit and he began to munch on it. Bertolt watched as Reiner stuffed the rest of it in his mouth.

 

“I’ve never had this before.”

  
“Really?”

 

Reiner nodded, and timidly took another slice, watching for Bertolt’s approval as he ate it. He saw Bertolt smile, and Reiner felt that he was doing something right. He looked back down at the bandages on his legs, and then stood up.

 

“I should go throw these out. My legs don’t hurt anymore.”

 

Bertolt nodded, and watched him walk off.

 

Reiner began to walk near the boys’ bathroom, where there was a trash-bin. He sat next to it and began to peel the bandage off of his skin. He crumpled up one into a ball, and threw it out before he felt someone step on his foot.

 

“Oh, it’s just the crybaby.” A male voice said, pointing over to Reiner. He immediately knew who it was, obviously being Porco. He was 7 years old and was nice to everyone but Reiner. He would go to talk to his older brother and in the same breath could snap at Reiner like he was the scum of the earth. Reiner felt like the older boy knew his blood, and was using it to torment him.

 

“And what the hell is on your legs?”

 

He put the rough bottom of his shoe against the blond boy’s leg, rubbing it aggressively so that his scabs fell off.

  
“Ow!” Reiner flinched and tried to turn around. He held his position for a few seconds, and the turned around, hoping that Porco would have left. And thankfully, he did. But, Reiner could see Bertolt run out from under the tree, and up to him.

 

“Are you okay?” Bertolt asked him, rather loudly. Reiner nodded, but the taller boy didn’t take it as the truth and took something out of his pocket. He had an old, unused tissue in his pocket that he wiped Reiner’s bloody knees with, then he threw in the trash.

 

“Who was that?” Bertolt asked again, staring at Reiner’s leg.

 

“He’s Porco and he always makes fun of me.”

 

Bertolt nodded, looked from side to side and stood up. Reiner got up and noticed how cutely that Bertolt held his arms like some type of raptor. Bertolt looked at him from the corner of his eye, and smiled at the blond boy.

 

“Let’s go finish eating cucumbers and we can talk, okay?”

 

* * *

 

 

Reiner walked home by himself that day. The sun beamed down on his white skin as he entered his house, quietly announcing that he was there. Karina was sat on a wooden rocking chair, reading a thick book. She looked up from a turned page and smiled at Reiner.

 

“How was training?” She asked, in her sweet singsong voice.

 

“It was good.”

 

“Did you meet anyone today?”  
  
“I met a boy.” Reiner bagn, sitting on the floor next to his mom. His house’s living room was bare of furniture except for a table with two chairs and the rocking chair, and that was basically it for them. Mother called it living humbly, just like she had read in her religious teachings. She read passages to the little boy every night before he went to bed. Reiner never really cared for them that much, but tried his hardest to act interested for his mother's sake. She already had enough on her plate, so maybe listening along wouldn’t hurt.

 

“Was he a nice boy?”  
  
“Yeah. He helped me when I fell over.”

 

“That’s great Reiner. It’s getting late, so how about you eat dinner and go to bed.”

  
  


Bertolt came home and took his shoes off outside the door. He put the two of them together, took his house keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door.   
  
“Papa!” He said, closing the door behind him and running upstairs. Just as he expected, his father was laid on the bed, looking at his a book. Bertolt came up to the bedside, and his father stroked Bertolt’s silky hair. The tall boy smiled and put his backpack on the floor.

 

“I’ll make us dinner, what should we have today?”

 

 

* * *

 

The next day, Bertolt stood on his doorstep, tying his shoelaces. As he finished, he saw Reiner walking on the sidewalk across from his street. Bertolt shot up, picking his bag up and running across the street to meet his new friend.

 

“Bertolt…?”  
  
“Good morning, Reiner!”  
  
Reiner was taken aback by Bertolt’s sudden loudness, but discarded the thought. He was excited, and hoped that Bertolt would hold his hand again. And, that is exactly what he did. The tall black haired boy took Reiner’s hand, and they began walking. Together.

 

It made Reiner feel so good. His heart beat hard for Bertolt, the sweet boy who was holding his hand and walking him to school. No one had ever done this for him before, except for his mother when he was very little.

 

“Hey,” Reiner said, looking down at the rocks “what titan do you want to get?”  
  
Bertolt looked up at the sky as he walked, likely thinking. “I’d like to get the c-colossal titan, but I don’t know if I could… so maybe the cart titan? What about you?”  
  
“I want the armored titan.”   
  
The tall boy looked at Reiner, nodding to himself. “I think you’d be a good armored titan.”

 

“Really?  
  
“Yeah.”

 

“I think you’d be a good colossal titan as well, Bertolt.”

 

Reiner looked at Bertolt and tried to imagine it. The Colossal Titan was the second hardest to obtain, right next to Beast Titan. The current owner of the Colossal titan a man named Theodore Conners, and had little to no public relations. He wouldn’t show his face unless necessary, like at a public speech by the Marleyan government. Even then, he would keep to himself and would even cover his face with a hat or a face mask. There were posters of his titan around town as well, (all of the shifters were given celebrity status in Marley) boasting the 165 foot tall titan, the tallest one to date. Reiner couldn’t imagine seeing it in person, let alone being it.

 

There were also rumours around the school yard that a titan shifter becomes more like their titan. A person who owned the jaws titan would have better teeth and nails, someone with the colossal titan would grow a foot taller, someone owning the female titan would take on a more womanly appearance, etc etc. Reiner wondered if he got the armored titan, would he not bruise as easily? He hoped so. Maybe then Porco could shut up. They were aiming for the same titan, anyways.

 

Reiner’s brain must have been on autopilot, because he was snapped out of his deep thought when Bertolt announced that they had arrived at school. He let go of Bertolt’s hand, but sat right next to him. Bertolt looked at her from the corner of his eye, and smiled.

 

“We can do this. We’re gonna get our titans.”

 

 

* * *

 

Days turned into weeks, and then weeks turned into months, and months into years. Three years, exactly. Reiner was now 10 years old, and had managed to escape every monthly elimination, and was now down to two more candidates. Just him, and Porco.

 

He felt the tensions between the both of them rise even more, Porco would try to aggravate him more than he used to, and Reiner would try to hold in his tears. But Bertolt would come to the rescue like always, and would sweep Reiner off of his feet like a prince. The little blond boy couldn’t get enough of the safety that tall and handsome Bertolt would give him. He loved it, and he loved Bertolt even more.

 

Weeks passed, and it was the night before the finals. Karina allowed Reiner to sleep over for the night to study, but poor Reiner could barely think straight. Either he would get the titan and live with his family, or he would stay home, all by himself, and wait for the next round of titans. What would Bertolt look like by then? Would he still be as cute?

 

That’s the only thing that Reiner could focus on when it came to his peers. He wondered how Bertolt was doing, what kind of socks he was going to wear today, what stuffed animal he would give Reiner as a gift. He even noticed that some of his fellow boys were looking at girls, but he couldn’t look at girls when Bertolt was there. Maybe those boys wanted to kiss the girls, but all he wanted to kiss was Bertolt.

 

“So…” Bertolt said, organizing his papers “did you write all of the notes on the paper?”  
  
“Yeah, it stinks that we can only have one page of notes.”  
  
“Well, I just wrote really small.” Bertolt giggled, putting his notes in a folder. Puberty did Bertolt really, really good. His long legs were even longer, his body was lean and his voice was getting deeper. Reiner helped him through his growing pains by rubbing and massaging his tall, long legs.

 

“I tried to write small but I have big dumb fingers.”

 

“Your fingers aren’t dumb!” Bertolt said rather loudly, taking Reiner’s hand and squeezing it. “It’s cute and squishy like a… a… bean thing.”

 

Bertolt’s awkward smile made any thoughts about ‘bean fingers’ erase from Reiner’s mind. He smiled back at Bertolt and blushed. He wished that Bertolt would just kiss him already.

 

“Well, it’s like nine fifty now… and we should go to bed.”   
  
Bertolt stood up from his bed and walked to his door, where he turned off the light. He closed the door, and hopped into his bed. Reiner sat on the bed as Bertolt backed up.

 

“Wait.” The tall boy said, “you don’t have a sleeping bag?”  
  
Reiner paused. He had totally forgotten his sleeping bag. “I guess I’ll lay on the floor.”  
  
“No! Wait, I’m sorry…” Bertolt grabbed Reiner’s hand again and tugged it. Reiner almost fell over from the random force, but quickly gained himself back. “You can sleep in my bed.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“My bed is big because my uncle and his wife used to live with us when I was still a baby, so now I use his bed. So, you can sleep with me.”  
  
Reiner blushed as Bertolt patted the soft blankets next to him, inviting Reiner to lay with him. The blond boy reluctantly obliged, half crawling up to Bertolt. Reiner would have calmed down, almost immediately due to Bertolt’s sudden quietness, but when he began to take off his button up shirt Reiner began to sweat his little ass off.

 

“You need to take your shirt off before you got to bed. It’s going to get hot in the morning and you’ll sweat.”

 

As Bertolt finished taking off his shirt, he immediately went to do the same to Reiner. He could barely breathe watching his cute best friend take his shirt off, before carefully folding it and putting it on the ground next to him.

 

“Yeah, you really needed to take your shirt off. Your face is so red and you’re sweating.”

 

‘Oh god.’ Reiner thought to himself. ‘Why are you so clueless?’

 

He had realized that there was something different about Bertolt when they first met. He was so eager to be friends, so kind and caring, and Reiner just couldn’t understand why. But at the same time, these mannerisms were charming to him. Maybe it was the way that he smiled, or maybe it was that cute little flap thing that he did with his hand when he was happy. Reiner didn’t care. He was cute in his own bertoltish way.

 

Bertolt took a fuzzy blanket and curled up under the soft sheets. He watched as Reiner took his own blanket and laid down next to him.

 

“Well.” Reiner said, looking Bertolt eye to eye. “What do we do now?”

 

“I dunno, maybe we can talk for a bit.”

 

“What about?”

 

“Oh. How has Pork boy been? I haven’t seen him since I left for my personal training…”

 

“He’s being weird. He’s still bullying me, but now he is trying to impress the girls who watch us train…”   
  
Bertolt closed his eyes and rolled onto the other side, leaning over the bed and picking something up. It was a stuffed whale plush, and he started hugging it while thinking of a response.

 

“I don’t get the deal with girls… Like my mom is always telling me that she wants me to get a girlfriend, but I don’t want one.”

 

“Then what do you want?”

 

“I… uh…”   
  
Reiner paused. He wanted to tell Bertolt how he felt, but at the same time, he couldn’t. What if Bertolt rejected him? Would they still be friends, or would it be forever tainted by one mistake?

 

“Do you have a crush on anyone?”  
  
“What?” Reiner was taken aback by the sudden bluntness of that question.   
  
“Do you like, like anyone?”  
  
“O-Of course I like people, I-I mean like-”  
  
“Not that. Like, anyone who you’d want to kiss or something.

 

Reiner paused. He had to own up to it. It was either now or never.

 

“I… uh…”

 

“Yes?”  
  
“Would you be mad at me if I told you?”  
  
“Of course not. I just asked you, after all.”   
  
“Well… it’s just that it’s…”

 

Bertolt sat up straight in his bed. He looked down at Reiner as he tried to prop himself up.  
  
“Who is it?” Bertolt looked into his Reiner’s eyes, for the first time in a while. Reiner gulped down and covered his face with his hands.

 

“It’s you.”

 

Reiner uncovered his face and looked at the tall boy. His tan face was dark with blush, and his mouth was open just a little bit.

 

“D-Do you hate me?”  
  
Bertl didn’t say anything, he just shook his head no. Reiner felt a weight being lifted off of his shoulders, but he could immediately feel it come back when Bertolt started to scoot up closer to him. He began to put his face closer and closer to reiners, until there noses bumped. Bertolt closed his eyes and rubbed his nose on Reiner’s.

 

“I like you too…”   
  
Bertolt put his hand on reiner’s thigh and stroked it.

 

“W-Well uh…” Reiner was about to speak again, but his words were taken away from him when Bertolt pecked him on the cheek. He pulled away from the kiss and watched as the blond boy blushed, and blushed hard.

  
  


“I can’t kiss you again, for now.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I want you to get the Armored Titan, and then I’ll give you a kiss.”

 

“Bertl…”  
  
“I’m going to sleep now. I’ll kiss you later, okay?” Bertolt laid back down, covering himself with the blankets and closing his eyes.

 

Reiner, however, couldn’t sleep.

 

He needed that Titan, and he needed that kiss.

 

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Reiner awoke to the smell of maple syrup wafting upstairs. Bertolt was not in the room, so Reiner freely put on a new pair of clothes and packed himself up.

 

He walked downstairs, backpack in hand, to see Bertolt sitting around his kitchen table with his dad. Bertolt’s dad looked just like his son, but wore a pair of round glasses and had darker skin. The both of them were eating pancakes, and Reiner noticed the plate of food with an empty seat behind it. He gladly took a seat, and began to eat the fluffy pancakes.

 

After eating, the two of them left. As usual, Bertolt took Reiner’s hand, but held it a bit tighter this time.

 

“Hey, Reiner?”  
  
“Yes?”   
  
“... if you do pass the test and I kiss you, does that mean that we’re dating?”  
  
“I don’t know.”

 

There was an awkward silence for a moment. Bertolt turned his head around and looked at his house vanishing in the distance, and then back in front of him.

 

“You know, there’s going to be a parade and some type of block party when we get our titans?”  
  
“There is?”  
  
“Yeah. My dad said that they did it the last few times there were shifters chosen. My family is going to come over when I get the colossal titan.”  
  
“What do you mean by when? You still have to take a test, right?”  
  
Bertolt paused. He felt a cold shiver run down his spine, but he kept on walking.  
  
“I know I’m going to get it. I told everyone to come. And, once you pass, as my new… boyfriend…? You’ll be able to come with your mom if she wants to come.”

 

“Oh, we’re here now.”

 

As they went through the gates, the tall boy let go of Reiner’s hand. “Hey.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Can you promise me that you’ll do your best?”  
  
Reiner didn’t know how to respond. He wanted to do his best, but what if his best wasn’t good enough for Bertolt?  
  


“I… I promise.”

 

 

* * *

 

Reiner tried his best. He really did. He fought through tears and sweat as he tried his hardest to complete every task that was given of him. He really did try his best. It finally came down to the first monday of december, and snow had fallen down on the rocky streets of Liberio. It was finally time for the test answers to come out, for everyone to know who the new titans would be.

 

Reiner, dressed up in his best clothing arrived at the 6:30 conference, and looked around. He saw people, all kinds of different people, to see him graduate. He walked up to the front of the room, where there were chairs laid out and sat in the front row, right where he was assigned to. Annie was to his left, and Porco was to his right.

 

“So.” Reiner heard as he sat down, “How does it feel?”  
  
“How does what feel…” Reiner said, slouching down on the chair and looking around to find Bertolt.  
  
“How does it feel, knowing that today is the last day you’re going to be training with me?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Once I get the Armored Titan, I won’t have to see your ugly face anymore.”  
  
“Thanks, Po- oh...” Reiner groaned, looking to his left. That was when he saw him.   
  
Right behind Pieck was Bertolt, who was dressed up handsome to a tee. His hair was perfectly made, and he was wearing an unbuttoned black suit and white button up shirt. The blond boy was shocked, and watched as Bertolt began to talk to an older man.  
  
“Who the hell are you staring at? Stop looking at Pieck, you dummy!” Porco almost shouted, getting up and walking up to the black haired girl. Just as he got up, Bertolt turned around and saw Reiner in his seat and walked towards him. As he came up to sit in Porco’s seat, he smiled at Reiner.  
  


“How do I look?”  
  
“You look so… wow.”   
  


Bertolt blushed and crossed his legs. “Thank you so mu-”  
  
“Hello?” Someone said on a loud microphone. “Everyone, please sit down.”  
  
Reiner looked up at the man who was speaking. He had no idea who the person who was speaking was, but he seemed to be of authority. He looked over to Bertolt, who nodded his head and faced the man.

 

“Good, thank you.” He said, putting his hands to his sides.

 

“I’m sure that you all know why we are here. We are here meet our newest warriors, and welcome them all into their new job. Everyone worked hard, sweated hard, bled hard to get to this point, and now we need to acknowledge this. Because today, we are going to be giving them their new titan titles.” The man paused to shuffle his notes, and the adults began to clap and cheer. “Once you hear your name, please come and stand up on the stage behind me.”

 

“Let’s start out with the ladies first please. For the Female Titan, we have chosen Annie Leonhardt, with her smart brain and excellent training skills.”

 

Annie got up, with her blank face, was cheered onto the stage.

 

“Next we have Pieck H…” The man struggled to pronounce her last name. Reiner cringed, but was surprised when the nonchalant girl walked on the stage and whispered her last name to him. He nodded and made an ‘ah’ noise under his breath, and she made her way to stand next to Annie.

 

“Pieck! We have chosen her to receive the Cart Titan. She’s such an amazing support worker and is very well educated.”

 

“Next up, we have our last three boys. For the Jaws titan, we have chosen Marcel Galliard. He’s a good sport and strong.”  
  
Reiner could barely focus on Marcel walking up the stairs. He was thinking to hard, wondering if he was going to get the titan. He swore he could have cut the tension between him and Porco with a knife, and he hated it. Reiner looked to the right and saw Porco smiling a horrible, cocky smile at him. The blond boy was only drawn away from his almost hypnotic smile by the man talking again.

 

“For the Armored titan, we have the boy who probably went through the most change over these three training years. Your trainers have noted that you have ‘changed a lot’ and ‘have become more mature’ over time.”   
  
“So, that means that Reiner Braun will be receiving the Armored Titan.”  
  
Bertolt’s eyes widened, looking at Reiner as he stood up. His eyes were also wide, but he stood up and took his spot next to Marcel. As he walked, he saw the look on Porco’s face, one of utter disappointment and despair. He could see it in the absolute blank look in the older boy’s eyes.

 

“Last, but certainly not least, we have the new holder of the Colossal Titan. The title of the largest titan is going to go to Bertolt Hoover.”

 

Bertolt stood up and almost speed walked up next to Reiner. He took Reiner’s hand and looked down at his shoes, trying to hold in his tears.

 

“These five children are our future, and will carry the weight of the world in their hands.”

 

“Let us cheer them on, for their victories and the future of Marley!”  
  


 

* * *

The rest of the night came as a blur. The streets in the slums of Liberio were filled with people of all ages coming together to celebrate in the thin layer of snow on the rocky road. Liquor bottles were smashed on the street, people were playing music and children were dancing. But that wasn’t what was the matter in Reiner’s mind.

 

He had undressed out of his clothes into a more casual outfit, ran across the street and knocked on the door to Bertolt’s house. He rocked back and forth on his feet after knocking on the door, waiting for someone to open it so that he could be removed from the loudness of the block party.

 

“Hey, who are-” The tall woman began to say, but then she looked down at Reiner for a few more seconds. Her blank expression turned into a ear-to-ear smile and she took ahold of Reiner’s shoulders.

 

“Everyone! Bertolt’s little friend came over!”

  
  


  
Reiner finally found Bertolt in his room. However, he was pushed around by the Hoover family. He had his cheeks pulled on, his outfit complimented and his forehead kissed by sweet older ladies.

 

Reiner closed the door behind himself and found Bertolt on his bed. He was wearing a red sweater and dark brown pants. He smiled once he saw Reiner, and patted on his bed for the blonde boy to come. Reiner slowly approached the bed, hopping up next to the taller boy and nuzzling up to him.

 

“My dad is going to send up some food once he’s done cooking. Did you eat anything?”  
  
“No, everyone downstairs was kinda pushing me around.”   
  
“Oh… I’m sorry…” Bertolt said, examining Reiner’s skin. He saw tan indentations on his boys skin, and he began to get upset. “Did you fall?”  
  
“Yeah, just a few times though. I’m okay now.”

 

“Oh. Okay. M-Maybe after dinner… we can go outside for a bit?”  
  
“Of course.”

 

Reiner paused, unsure of what to say. He didn’t know if he wanted to ask for his kiss, or if Bertolt had something special planned out. He was the type of person who would plan things out in advance, whether it was lunch dates or packing too much for overnight training, Bertolt had it all. He was a great planner.

 

“... Are you excited?” Reiner asked, breaking the awkward silence.

 

“For what?”  
  
“Our titans, silly. Aren’t you excited? You’ll have the biggest titan.”

 

Bertolt looked down at his toes and nodded. “Yeah… I guess.”  
  
“What do you mean you guess?”  
  
“I dunno. It just seems scary. I don’t know if I can really do it. I trained so much, but what if it’s nothing like training? What if I don’t do good an-”

 

“You’re going to do good.” Reiner said, “You’re going to be the best colossal titan the world has ever seen. I promise.”

 

Bertolt blushed, looking at Reiner with those beautiful forest green eyes that the blond boy had come to love. It was as if the entire world had stopped, just for that perfect moment where he could finally look Bertolt eye to eye. Reiner felt his body become mushy, and they he began to approach Bertolt. He kept on crawling closer until their noses bumped against each others. Reiner lifted his hand and stroked Bertolt’s cheek, smiling a bit. He brushed his nose up against Bertolt’s, before breaking the nose nuzzle. Bertolt smiled and pushed his head in closer, leaning in for the kiss.  
  
“Hey Ber- Oh!” Someone said, opening the door suddenly. Reiner immediately turned around and saw someone in the doorway, holding a plate of rice and something green. “Well uh, dinner is ready.”   
  
Bertolt backed up a bit and opened his eyes, his face turning bright red.

 

“W-We’ll be down in just a minute.”

 

 

* * *

 

Reiner walked downstairs and saw all of the people crowding around a table. He got in line and waited his turn to see everything that was for dinner. There was a lot of food that he had never seen before in his life. Rice wrapped in seaweed with fish on top, sweet bread with powdered sugar sprinkled on top, cheese with tomato and basil… he was honestly overwhelmed by the amount of food. Reiner had no idea that Bertolt had so many relatives.  
  
Reiner filled up his plate and began to scan around the room to find Bertolt. The table was crowded with adults and other children, but Bertl still wasn’t there. He sighed and ran up to the front door. He opened the door and looked from side to side. Surely enough, bertolt was there, sitting under a tree eating his dinner. Reiner smiled, shutting the door behind him and running up to Bertolt.   
  
“Why are you sitting out here all by yourself?” He asked, sitting next to Bertolt. The black haired boy swallowed the bite of food in his mouth and smiled at Reiner. He nodded, looking over at Reiner’s plate.   
  
“You didn’t get that much.” He said, “Just some mashed potatoes and chicken?”

 

“I didn’t recognize anything else.” the blond boy said under his breath.  
  
“You can try some of mine, if you’d like.”   
  
Bertolt lifted a fork from his plate and stabbed at some green beans. He then held it to Reiner’s lips and made an ‘aah’ sound. “Come on, my dad always used to make it for me during Yule. It’s so good.”

Reiner reluctantly opened his mouth and Bertolt put the fork in his mouth. The blond boy grumbled, it tasted really good.   
  
“It’s so good…”  
  
Bertl smiled, and picked up another forkful to give to Reiner, but the blond boy refused. He instead began to eat his own food, but he couldn’t help but look back to Bertl. Everything seemed so perfect, the streetlights glow reflecting off of the snow to make a perfect yellowish pink glow, drunk men singing in the distance and the aura of being around someone that he loved made the blond boy feel… whole. For some reason, it felt like every weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He didn’t care about his Titan, he didn’t care about Porco, it just didn’t matter to him. All that mattered was that Bertolt was looking oh so adorable while eating his dinner.

 

“Hey Reiner…” He said, turning around to fully face the blond boy “Y-You’re staring at me…?”  
  
“I know. You’re just so cute with snow in your hair.”  
  
Bertolt blushed, put the plate down on the grass and shook the snow out of his hair. Reiner put his hand on the tall boy’s upper thigh, watching Bertl turn around and blush even harder.   
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“I… I wanted to say thank you.” Reiner removed his hand from Bertolt’s thigh and began to inch closer to him. “T-Thank you for everything. You’ve always been there for me and… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  
  
“Reiner, please…”  
  
“It’s true. That’s why I always stay with you… because I… I uh…”  Reiner bumped his nose against Bertolt’s. “I-I love you…”   
  
What came next was almost automatic. The both of them leaned in close together until lips brushed up against lips, and then pressed up against each other’s. They held that position for a moment, until Bertolt pulled away.

 

“Your lips are so soft.” Reiner whispered before leaning in again, this time kissing Bertolt on his cheek. “Everything about you is soft.”

 

The raven haired boy smiled and kissed reiner on both of his cheeks before backing up to look at Reiner.

 

“I love you.” Bertolt stroked Reiners leg while looking at him lovingly. “You’re my best friend. Please don’t ever leave me.”

 

“l won’t.” Reiner replied, stroking Bertolts silky black hair. “and one of these days, when I get really strong, i’ll be the one protecting you. I promise.”

 

* * *

Just as suddenly as those words escaped eleven year old Reiner’s mouth, he was shot back to reality. The reality that they were training as soldiers, the reality that he had became strong enough to protect Bertolt.

 

“You zoning out?” Eren quipped, shaking Reiner by his shoulders.

 

“Yeah, I guess so. What were you asking me again?”

 

“I was wondering how long you’ve known Bertolt.”

 

Reiner looked over his shoulder to see Bertolt in the corner of their bunk, his legs folded up to his chest and a book in his hands. The blond smiled and looked back to eren.

 

“It feels like forever.”

  
  
  
  



	2. starlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a short chapter, i know. but i really needed to publish this before i get to what i hope can be the meat of this story. i, informally dedicate this chapter to my sister from another mister, mishafer. she didn't get her secret santa gift this year. anyways, i hope that this is a suitable chapter for everyone.  
> this particular chapter is based off of the vibe of the song starlight by odd eye circle, feel free to enjoy a song while you read. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsAaa3e6OZc

Sleepless days and nights passed as the final medical procedures came through. Stuff to check that Bertolt wouldn’t have his father’s disease, that all of his shots were updated and he had correct vision. As the days counted down to the final moment of being a pure human, the raven haired boy began to worry. 

He worried about his transformation, he worried about Annie and Marcel’s, he worried about Pieck and Zeke, but most of all, he worried about Reiner. There were rumors amongst the schoolyard that one in five people wouldn’t be able to transform back into a human. Bertolt, of course, blindly believed the rumors. He couldn’t have cared if he had transformed and never came back, but he did care about Reiner. The blond boy and his round face, still full with baby fat and eyes that could melt Bertolts heart; he couldn’t allow Reiner to get hurt in any way. 

That being said, the night before titan ‘coronation’, Bertolt couldn’t sleep. His mind was racing with thoughts of the titans, Reiner, the others… everything was too extreme. 

The next day came. Bertolt, dressed in traditional white rags waited outside the front door to the chamber. He was so jittery, and looked across to see the others. Bertolt couldn’t see reiner from where he was, but he prayed that Reiner was doing his best. 

Reiner… He thought, while being walked inside of the concrete building; Please be okay. I’ll be okay for you.

The last thing Bertolt could remember was his arm being wiped down with a towel that was soaked in a saline solution and a stab in his right arm. 

Then, he awoke inside of his bedroom. Alongside him were pink and white balloons, good luck and get well soon cards alongside bags upon bags of gifts. But the best gift of all was waiting at the foot of his bed. 

Reiner crawled up onto Bertolts bed and almost mounted the taller boy, cuddling him and saying sweet nothings into Bertolts ears. 

“God, Bertl… you’ve been asleep for three days. You’re hungry, right?” Reiner peppered soft kisses on Bertolts forehead before fishing something out of his pocket. It was a chocolate bar. “Carmel is your favorite filling, right?”

Reiner unwrapped the chocolate bar and snapped a part off. He pushed it against Bertolts lips and he accepted it, biting down into the sweet candy. He could suddenly feel how empty his stomach was, and he snatched the rest out of Reiners hands. Bertl stuffed it down his mouth and moaned. It felt so good to have his tummy filled. 

Reiner smiled and kissed Bertolts chocolate stained lips. “Is it good?”

“It’s so good…” 

Bertolt paused and looked up at the ceiling. Something felt strange. Especially the way that Reiner was talking to him. He sounded oddly enthusiastic, and was kissing Bertolt a lot. A lot more than he ever would have done usually. Something about the way Reiner kissed him made the tall boys heart flutter.

“Reiner, did something happen?” Bertolt spoke, kissing Reiner on the cheeks. “you’re being really sweet right now…”

“I just…” Reiner kissed him on his nose this time, stroking Bertolts hair; “I know you were worried about the whole titan thing and I was worried about you too… so I.. I’ve been coming in everyday since I woke up to check on you. After I got my titan, I woke up in a few hours. The lady at the hospital told me that you could be sleeping for a week, or even two weeks but I didn’t believe it. I knew you would’ve came out.”

“There are some hospital ladies who are going to come upstairs soon to check on you, and once they see that you’re awake they’ll give you fluids through an injection and stuff.”

“They’ll put the fluid tube right-“ Reiner leaned down and picked up Bertolts left arm, flipping it and kissing where he assumed a vein would be “-here.”

Bertolt closed his eyes as Reiner began to explain the post-titan procedure. It was so boring, and Reiner only realized that Bertolt had fallen back asleep when he looked down and saw the sweet boy smiling, with chocolate still on his face. 

“Sleep well, Bertl.”

—

Reiner was scared to death. The first real training had begun. Him, Bertolt and all of the others were taken out to a literal active war zone. Reiner swore he could have seen quite a few dead bodies strewn across the battlefield, but he was told very bluntly to ignore it. The commander said that they were not people anymore, they were just objects. 

Reiner, who was hidden inside of a ditch, clutched his rifle and looked to the side. Marcel and Pieck were to his left, just as planned. Every so often Pieck would get up onto her knees to look outside of the ditch, only to be chastised by the other commander (“Are you trying to get yourself shot?”) who would pull her down. Reiner was a bit taller, so he was able to look out of the ditch a bit without moving that much. He could see houses and broken down trains that had derailed, helmets and articles of clothing tossed around the dead dirt. It made him feel upset, he couldn’t exactly pinpoint why, but it did. 

Reiner looked to his left and saw the train full of barrels rush past them, just a few miles away. Reiner gulped. He knew what was inside. The backside of the train passed, and the blonde could see that the caboose had another engine on it. 

“It’s so that they can turn the train around on the same track. Interesting, right?” Pieck spoke calmly, even though she was being wrestled down by the commander. Reiner nodded and closed his eyes.

Just a few minutes later, he could see the train speeding away. Half of the barrels that were on the train were gone. There was a loud whistle, and Reiner got the chills. 

 

“Alright, duck and cover! Don’t look, don’t speak!”

Reiner got into his position, but couldn’t help but be terrified. He could feel chills running down his spine. 

The light came first. Commander was right in saying that they shouldn’t look, even when his head was covered by his hands and his eyes were closed, it was as if Reiner was staring into a thousand burning suns. The light immediately tanned Reiner’s white skin, and burned the back of his neck. Next was the sound. It was absolutely unbearable for the two seconds that it was made. It sounded like an entire continent had been ripped from the earth and then crushed back. Afterwards came the wind. Dust ripped through the air and began to throw the unfortunate soldiers who couldn’t find shelter around. Reiner could hear their bodies falling onto buildings. Lastly came him.  
The ten seconds had passed, and Reiner immediately stuck his head out of the shelter to look. 

In some messed up way, the colossal titan sort of reminded Reiner of his best friend. The height, his face, and the way that it began to walk just screamed Bertolt. The blondes jaw dropped, and his eyes widened. It was as if he was in the presence of a God. 

Reiner watched as the titan slowly walked, getting closer and closer to him. One of the commanders was trying to estimate his height, comparing his height to the nearby trees. The houses were ankle level compared to him, and Reiner couldn’t imagine how small he was compared to the colossus until he actually came close. Bertolt was only a bit away from the ditch, when he began to fall.

“GET DOWN!” 

Reiner immediately fell down, holding his knees and another large wind came over the ditch. Then, he looked up. 

He could see the head of the Colossal titan, just a few feet away from him. Without thinking, Reiner swung his leg over the lip of the ditch and began to run towards the large corpse. 

“BERT! BERTOLT! IT’S ME!” He screamed, finally reaching the huge fleshy body. He began to climb up the flesh in the titan’s shoulder and then crawled up to the nape. Reiner reached his hands in and felt around, finding Bertolt’s body. The blonde began to dig into the flesh, and then saw Bertolt’s silky black hair was stained with a clear mucus. Reiner stuck his hands deeper into the flesh and held under his armpits, pulling Bertolt up. He could have sworn that he heard Bertolt grumbling in there, grumbling for him. 

Reiner pulled with all of his might and heard an audible popping noise, and Bertolt was ejected from the titan. He then placed Bertolt on the decomposing titan’s body. Reiner looked down at Bertolt and saw that he had bleeding red tendrils on his cheeks. His eyes were half open, and from his vision, he could barely make out Reiner’s form. Yet he knew that it would be Reiner that would lift him out of his titan for the first time. 

Bertolt could feel himself being lifted up by those strong arms, and before he could even register what was going on, he was laying on the floor of the ditch. He swore that he could hear Reiner being yelled at, but at the same time he wasn’t sure. Reiner was standing over him and rubbing his bloody cheeks with a rag. 

Bertl closed his eyes and was lulled to sleep by the soft touching, and the muffled chatter of people alongside him.

\---

Bertolt swore that the training was longer than it was. He could have sworn that it took longer than two days for him to get ahold of his titan, he could have sworn that it took less than a month for everyone to finalize their testing, but it didn’t. Everyone had finished up early. It was time to implement the plan to take back the coordinate titan, and he was going to do it. He was going to make history.

The group wasn’t allowed to bring anything along but clothes and food. There would be no remnants of home except for their memories. Bertolt was afraid that he would forget his family with nothing to remember them by, but Reiner assured him that they would remember, as long as they had each other. 

The day of leaving was just as a huge event as the announcement festival. Bertolt was hailed with a huge breakfast consisting of waffles, berries and syrup before he had to run off. As he ran to the assigned station, he could see Reiner running along with Marcel. 

They’ve become friends really quick. Bertolt thought to himself. 

After running for a good two minutes, Bertolt reached the station and promptly found his seat on the carriage. One last publicity stunt before they left, and then everything would be to plan. Bertl kept on repeating those words in his head as he sat. Shortly after he finished repeating it in his head, Marcel and Reiner had finally gotten into the carriage. Bertolt didn’t even notice that Annie was sitting on the opposite side of him. Bertolt smiled at her, but she had immediately turned her head away from his. 

Bertolt fidgeted around for most of the ride to the docks. He would occasionally look up to smile and wave, but besides that, he kept to himself. 

He kept on keeping to himself for the entire trip to the island, barely speaking to Reiner (who was enveloped in discussing what to do inside of the walls) and trying to stay in his room as much as possible. The fact that he had to share the room with Annie didn’t help at all, especially with how she would bully him when they were alone together. She would step on his face while he slept until he woke up, throw pillows at him randomly and sit on his chest while changing her shirts. One of the commanders had caught her while she was changing her shirt that way, and he laughed at Bertolt (covering his eyes) for being a prude. He wished that he didn’t have to share a room with her, but at least Annie didn’t talk too much to him. Bertolt felt like he needed some peace and quiet before what was going to go down. 

A few days later, they had arrived. The boat was slow as hell and the trip was only supposed to take an afternoon, but the ship people didn’t want to waste fuel for ‘no good reason’. Bertolt took his sleeping bag out of his room, and watched as Annie picked hers up as well. After leaving the ship, Bertolt saw that Marcel and Reiner were being talked to by some other commander. It looked like they were being praised. Bertl felt a bit jealous of them, but disregarded the feelings. Reiner deserved to have good things happening to him, he had worked so hard for them. 

Bertolt sighed and thought of all of the time that he had wasted not speaking with Reiner before they had to do their job, but as soon as the thought registered in his brain, he could feel cold hands on his shoulders. 

“Are you ready?” Of course, it was Reiner. Bertolt smiled and nodded. 

“Of course.” 

\---

It felt like they had walked for months. Of course, at first the hike was easy, but then it began to become treacherous as the night moved on. Reiner was cold, and the light jacket that he was told to pack didn't help at all. If anything, it made him feel more miserable. He just wanted to be warmed, and he wanted to do it soon.

“Well, we’re halfway there.” Marcel said, suddenly sitting down and throwing his bag on the ground. Annie sat adjacent to him and Bertolt instead chose to sit a bit further away from them, not far enough to isolate them but enough to have his own space. As reiner looked at them, he realized that they all had something that he did not. 

They all packed their sleeping bags. 

“Reiner, you gotta go to bed now.” Marcel grumbled under his breath, rolling out the soft sleeping pad. 

“Oh, of course!” Reiner blushed a bit and made his way over to Bertolt. He knew that Annie would definitely not offer up her bag, and Marcel would probably chastise him and say that he should have been more careful, but Bertolt would likely at least let him borrow a pillow. 

He made his way over to Bertolt, who was hugging one of the pillows, and sat next to him. Reiner looked caround and saw that the others were already sleeping, and he sighed. 

“Bertl…” He whined, putting his hand on Bertolt’s head and stroking his hair. “I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you that much in the ship… but can I ask you a favor?”

Bertolt groaned a bit and turned to face Reiner.

“What is it?”

“I… uh… I forgot my sleeping bag so I was wondering if I could… use yours?”

Bertolt nodded, but instead of getting out like Reiner expected him to, he just unzipped the bag and patted the open flap. 

“?”

“ well, in exchange for laying in my bed, you can cuddle with me…”

Reiner blushed and looked down at Berl. He was obviously tired, and there were bags under his eyes. 

“I want cuddles…”

Reiner got onto his knees and began to crawl inside of the bag. There was enough room for them to both be separated from each other, but he could tell that Bertolt didn’t want that. He scrunched up closer to reiner and wrapped his arms around the blondes waist, stroking his belly. 

“Reiner, look up…” Bertolt almost whispered, gently poking Reiner on his tummy. Reiner did as he said, and saw thousands of beautiful stars glimmering in the sky. It was so colorful that he was honestly shocked. He had never seen the sky in such a way before. 

“All of the blue stuff is stardust I think…” Bertolt’s words slurred as he pointed around the sky.

 

“Bertl, you should go to sleep.” Reiner whimpered, closing his eyes and rolling so that he faced Bertolt. 

“Mhnn…” Bertolt closed his eyes and began to inch closer to Reiner, wrapping his arms around the other boy lovingly. He stroked Reiner’s front, getting closer and closer until their bodies touched. He then pressed his belly against Reiner’s back. 

“Reiner, your hair is so soft…”

“Please Bertolt, I’m so tired I-” Reiner paused, shivering for a second and then whimpering. Bertolt was absentmindedly kissing his sensitive neck, almost getting in a bit of tongue action in as well. The sensation was only being highlighted by the cold air instantly cooling Bertolt’s saliva. It felt weird, but at the same time it felt kinda good in some strange way that Reiner wasn’t able to put a name to. It made his stomach flutter and his chest feel light. 

“Bertl, I’m- please…” 

“This’ll help you relax… i think…” 

“It’s not help-” Bertolt gave a more defined lick this time, and Reiner could feel the passion behind it, “That’s really really not helping, please!”

Reiner shivered harder this time and felt somewhat relieved when Bertolt stopped the assault on his neck. He was still very confused by the odd shaking and the strangely good feeling, but he was glad that it was over. Now all he could feel was Bertolt breathing on his neck. 

“I… I’ll go to bed now.” Reiner spoke, closing his eyes. 

\---

Bertolt slept with no dreams that night. Infact, he would have almost forgotten that whole encounter with Reiner if it hadn’t been how he was sleeping on Reiner’s shoulder. Marcel and Annie were already awake by then, and they were cooking a fish over a log fire. It smelled really good. The raven haired boy unzipped his side of the sleeping bag and walked over to the two of them. Marcel greeted him with a smile, and Annie just stared at him. 

“Good morning.” Bertolt stood by the fire and watched Marcel turn and poke the fish with a stick. “Fish for breakfast?”

“Myeah, me and Annie woke up early so we got up and walked around a bit. We found a creek with fresh water and got some in the jug that came with the bag. And this fish. Of course.”

Bertolt nodded and noticed the small container of water. Jug was an overstatement. He could have drank that in one sitting. 

“I’m going to wake up Reiner now so we can get going.” Marcel stood up from his squatting position and dropped the stick onto the dirt. Bertolt walked over to where Marcel was squatting, picked up the stick and began to poke at the fish. 

Bertolt watched with a smile as Reiner rose from his bed, stretching and yawning. 

His relaxed expression turned into absolute terror as the ground began to vibrate underneath him, and the dirt pushed out from the ground. 

Bertolt’s brain went into autopilot and he began to run. He looked behind him for just a moment and saw Reiner, who had fallen on the ground. But he had no idea where Marcel was. After a few seconds of running he turned his head around again and saw where Marcel was. 

\---

Bertolt couldn’t remember what happened. He tried his hardest, but he just couldn’t remember. All that he knew was that they were inside the walls. They had done it. 

It was late at night when Bertolt woke up. He, along with other refugees, were crammed together in a barn. The boy could hear people singing prayers. He looked up at the ceiling of the barn, noticing a piece of wood was missing from the roof. He wished that he could have awoken Reiner to show him the colorful night sky, but he decided against it. Reiner was passed out, laying his head on Annie’s stomach. That made Bertolt smile.

Bertolt looked back up at the hole and smiled. 

Maybe, just maybe…

Things would be alright.


End file.
